Once upon a time there was a 🐙. This 🐙 lived a very happy life in the ocean, frolicking around and generally having a good time. But 🐙 often felt like there was something missing.
One day, while arranging her collection of smooth ocean-tumbled pebbles, 🐙 noticed out of the corner of her eye a strange shape floating downward from the edge of the water. She swam closer to it and saw a plastic bag, and inside was a 🍔!
"Oh, hello there, strange creature," said 🐙, not knowing what 🍔 was. "How do you do?"
"I do not know; I feel nothing, for I am simply a 🍔," said 🍔.
"You seem to be trapped in one of those strange containers that sometimes show up in my garden," said 🐙, "and your tentacles seem to be bound up. Would you like me to free you?"
"Goodness, no!" said 🍔. "It is very wet here and surely this will soak into my bun and make me quite soggy, and then nobody will want anything to do with me."
"Then I shall leave you as you are," said 🐙. "Would you like to come and explore with me?"
"I believe I would like that very much," said 🍔, and off they went to explore the ocean.
Many days passed; days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into years. 🍔 and 🐙 became inseparable; 🐙 enjoyed showing her world to 🍔, and 🍔 enjoyed learning about everything 🐙 had to offer.
As time went on, 🐙 grew larger and larger, and 🍔 found herself remaining more or less the same; her lettuce had wilted and her buns had grown stale, but 🐙 did not mind.
One day, 🐙 awoke to find 🍔 crying, her pickles having come loose and her sesame seeds scattered around the inside of her bag. 🐙 was not sure what to do to help, but 🍔 said, "It is okay, this is just a thing that happens to 🍔s like me." 🐙 was sad that her friend was sad, but accepted what 🍔 said and took it at face value.
The next day, 🐙 awoke to find that 🍔's bun had crumbled and fallen apart.
"Oh no, does that hurt?" asked 🐙.
"It does not, for I am just a 🍔 and you really should stop anthropomorphizing me," said 🍔.
So 🐙 ate 🍔 and promptly died of botulism.